


"Don't Go"

by AnneWolfe



Series: Carry On Countdown 2020 AnneWolfe [5]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Insomnia, M/M, Nightmares, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27763228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneWolfe/pseuds/AnneWolfe
Summary: Simon has trouble sleeping because of his nightmares and Baz decides to help.
Relationships: Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Carry On Countdown 2020 AnneWolfe [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025661
Kudos: 26
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2020





	"Don't Go"

**Author's Note:**

> Day 5 Carry On Countdown. Well, wow. This nothing like I had originally intended. I got to about 2,000 words and realized that was not what I had thought it would be like. I thought that this one would be really short and set post Carry On, but before Wayward Son. Instead it's sometime during their time at Watford. It doesn't fallow Carry On at all and just over all is different, but I went with it.

**Baz**

I ease the door closed behind me and carefully creep across the carpet. I really don’t want to deal with Snow’s interrogation tonight.

I get to my bed and that’s when I hear it. Soft sobs are coming from Snow’s bed. I look at him and see his hunched figure quietly shaking.

It hurts me to see him like this. The toll life has taken on him quietly coming to the surface at night. Like this, in the form of nightmares, sleepless nights, and quiet sobs.

Snow can be weepy at night, but I never give him a hard time. I would never try to hurt him like that. Prey on his weakness. He has no time to be vulnerable. No time to just _be_ a kid. 

It’s too much for me right now. I can’t stand it. I may as well just go right back to the catacombs and sit with my mother. I just don’t need to be tortured by my roommate's pain. I have enough of my own.

I go to leave the room again when Snow speaks up.

“Don’t go.”

“What?” I turn to Snow and look at him in the darkness. He probably can’t see me. It’s too dark.

“Don’t go. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Why? I’m your enemy.”

“Just don’t. I can’t be alone.”

“Fine,” This is not what I want to be doing, but I’m weak for Snow.

Since Snow is awake and doesn’t seem like he is going to interrogate me, I might as well move about getting ready for bed. I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth. 

When I exit the bathroom Simon is hiccuping and can’t seem to be able to catch his breath. I don’t know what comes over me, but I cross the carpet to his bed.

“Move over,” I command.

“What?” I can see him straining in the dark to see me.

I reach down and start to yank the covers out from under him. “I said, move over.”

He lays there hiccuping for a minute and finally manages to get out, “Why?”

“Because I don’t want to listen to you melting down all night and I need you to move over so that I can help you. I can’t actually hurt you. _Anathema_.”

Reluctantly he rolls over. What in the world am I doing? I have no idea, but I lay down in the recently vacated space. It’s warm from Snow's body and smells like salt and smoke. 

Reaching out I pull Snow against me and tuck his head under my chin. Then I run my fingers through his hair and rub circles on his back.

I am shocked that he is letting me do this. Why is Snow letting me get this close? We are enemies.

“Sssshhhhh,” I murmur into his hair.

Eventually I feel his breathing even out and he quiets down. He must be asleep. Finally, I wonder what was keeping him up this time. 

I really need to go to my bed. I should go back to my bed.

At the moment, Snow rolls away from me. He doesn't need me. 

I get out of his bed and switch to mine. It's cold and empty. Also it is small like Simon's. 

The next morning, I expect for something to happen, but nothing does. 

I wake up to Snow banging around. (He has no respect for my personal sleep) Everything is just the same as all ways, except Snow gives me a funny look when he realizes that I am awake.

My day is fine today. I don't have any problems, but I go hunting and when I come back, I find Simon laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. At least he isn't crying tonight. 

I quickly prepare for bed and just as I am pulling the blankets back, Simon turns towards me. 

"Can you come here? I can't sleep."

"Uhm?" I don't really know what to make of my roommate/ enemy/ boy I love asking for me to cuddle him to sleep. 

"Ok."

I fix the blankets on my bed and move to his. He immediately makes room for me. 

I lay down next to him and he rolls over, spooning against me. This is so fucking weird. I am not quite sure what to do, but I slide an arm around his waist pulling him closer. I tuck my face in his hair and inhale. 

Humm. He smells really nice tonight. Like chocolate and butter. 

Soon I fall asleep and when I wake up the next morning I am in Simon's bed. He isn't there though. He must have gone to breakfast early. I was surprised that he didn't wake me up. 

I get out of bed slowly and stretch. I get ready for the day and head down to breakfast. Snow is there stuffing his face with scones. There are crumbs everywhere. (He is such a slob). Bunce sits across from him and his writing hurriedly in a grey notebook.

I proceed to the food line and start to dish myself a plate.

After breakfast I go to class. The rest of the day is just normal. I don’t scuff with Snow and when I come back from hunting he is sitting up in bed with the light on. 

“What are you doing?” I ask. He seems to have a book open in his lap. 

“Reading. I can’t sleep.”

“Why can’t you sleep?” I know that Snow has sleeping problems, we both do, but I never noticed that it was this big. Does he have insomnia?

“Oh, I don’t know. Just _things_ keep me up.”

“Do you want to talk about them?” I have no idea why I am asking this, but we haven’t been normal around each other for the past few days.

“No, but can you lay with me?” He closes his book and sets it on the table next to his bed. Then he pulls back the covers and looks at me, waiting.

“Uhm, sure, just one second,” What are we doing? I don’t know, but if snow wants me to cuddle with him I might as well. 

I head into the bathroom and change for bed. Then I join Snow. He immediately rolls over and I pull him against me, just like I did the night before.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask.

“Hum, what?”

“I don’t know. _This_. You and me.”

“Oh, well, I sleep better when I can hear your breath and I like sleeping next to other people,” he replies.

I mull this over and I think that he’s done talking when he suddenly says, “I have never slept with anyone.”

“Oh really, Snow? Is that something I actually wanted to know?” I say this, but I know what he means.

Even in the darkness I see a faint pink tinge his cheeks. “No, no. Not like that! I mean no one has ever, you know just. I don’t know. How would you put it? In the care homes there was never anyone to put me to bed. They just sent the group of us off to bed. Noone ever tucked us in or kissed us goodnight. I have never once in my life gotten a hug before bed. I just never had any one to do things that parents would do.”

This makes me sad. I never thought about it before, but I guess that Simon never grew up with physical contact. I slide my other arm around him and hug him to my chest. He hums.

“I never knew what it felt like, never knew that I liked it, the other night. That was the first time that I slept soundly in a long time. I… I have been having nightmares and trouble sleeping recently. Worse than usual. The nightmares keep me from sleeping.”

“Do you have insomnia?” I ask.

“I don’t know, maybe?”

“Have you tried sleeping spells?”

“I don’t want to. I don’t think that the consequences are worth it.”

“Oh,” is all I say in response. I didn’t know that Simon’s problem was this serious.

Simon is quiet for a long time and I am just slipping into sleep when he rolls over to face me. “Why are you doing this?”

“What?” I ask.

“Why are you helping me? What made you help me the other night?”

“I really like you,” as soon as it is out of my mouth I regret it. I pull away from Snow and quickly start to get out of the bed, but Simon reaches out and grabs me. Holding me onto me, he pulls me closer to him.

“I rather like you too. It’s nice to know that you aren’t my enemy. Are you my enemy?”

“No,” I say and I mean it.

We fall silent and soon I am asleep. Simon is gone in the morning. I lay there, in Simon’s bed for a long time.

Simon likes me. That's a whole lot better than being his enemy. 

When I make it down to the dining hall I see Snow and Bunce sitting together. 

“You don’t have circles under your eyes. Are you sleeping better?” I hear Penny saying. Simon blushes and mutters something that I can’t make out. “It’s good that you got a solution,” she says in reply. Did Snow just tell Bunce about us? If I had any more blood in me I would be bright red. “I am really glad that you are using the spells I gave you,” continues Bunce.

Simon just lied to Bunce. Ok, what do I make of this? On one hand I am glad that he didn’t tell her about me, but on the other hand he doesn’t want people to know about “ _his solution_.”

That night is the same as the previous nights. It continues like that for a week. I cuddle Simon to sleep and then he’s gone in the morning. At least he’s now being quiet in the mornings. I can finally sleep in peace.

I’m not sure what you would call this relationship, but we aren’t fighting now. We almost never talk. I guess that I am just helping Simon with his nightmares.

One night a week later as I am crawling into bed, Simon sits up. 

“What are you doing?” I ask.

I want more than you just helping me with my nightmares. I’d like to be your friend.”

“Really, Snow?” I scoff, “In what world could we ever be friends?”

“In what world would you ever help me with nightmares?”

“Right, I wouldn’t mind being your friend.”

“Great,” is all he says in reply.

The next day as I am getting a plate of food for lunch Simon walks up to me with Bunce following close behind.

“Hay, come eat lunch with us. We have a basket packed to eat out on the Great Lawn,” says Simon.

“What are you doing?” asks Bunce as she comes up to Snow.

“Baz and I are friends, I am asking him to join us for lunch.”

“Really?” her eyes go wide behind her glasses.

“Yes, would you like to join us?”

“Sure,” I answer hesitantly.

“Great.” replies Snow as he turns and leads the way out of the dining to g hall.

It’s strange being Snow’s friend. I am getting to see a different side of him. Not the side that is angry at me, trying to hurt me, being suspicious of me, or laying with me because he is unable to sleep on his own. 

It’s kinda nice. After weeks of hanging out with him, Bunce is finally coming round to me. She’s a fierce magician. I can say that now. I don’t think that she was ever my enemy, but she certainly wasn’t my friend, let alone ally. We were just kinda neutral ground. She never really got involved with Snow’s campaigns against me.

Oh, and he doesn’t do that anymore, no more trailing me in the catacombs, halls, classrooms, dining hall, bedroom, or bathroom. I can finally hunt in peace.

One day when Snow and I are sitting by the pitch doing homework he suddenly speaks up.

“Can I date you?”

My mouth drops open. What the fuck did he just ask? I am speechless. Completely, utterly speechless.

“You know, I kinda have a crush on you and I have for a long time, so I don’t know. I guess that I am acting on it. That’s what Penny said that I should do. She thinks that you have a crush on me, and I kinda told her about your help and she said that was a sign because you initiated it and I don’t know so. I guess that I should stop talking now, I just, never mind. I’ll be going now. I don’t know, maybe I will see later. Maybe I won’t,” he starts to shove papers in his bag and I realize that he’s leaving. I won’t ever get this opportunity again. Probably. 

I lean over to him and grab him. I hold him in place and look him directly in the eyes. “Yes.”


End file.
